Creative Ways to Help
By Jamie Halverson
I was diagnosed with breast cancer at 36 years old. My husband and I had a 2 year old, and I was 18 weeks pregnant. My community gathered around me and asked “How can we help?”. With the overwhelm of the diagnosis, medical appointments, and the emotional toll, I did not know how to answer that question. People in my community stepped in to help anyway. They each found their own way of helping and their own way of showing that they care.
Below is a list of things that people did for me and my family during my cancer treatment. If you're looking to help someone going through cancer, surgery, chronic illness, or maybe someone who just brought home a newborn baby, check out this list. You know the person best, so pick a suggestion that fits their personality and interests.
Send a Smile
Draw chalk art on their driveway or sidewalks
Gift a yearly membership to a museum, gardens, etc
Send a hobby: puzzles, beginner embroidery kit, adult paint-by-number kit, book club subscription, etc
Decorate a planter box for their porch and change the decorations and flowers to correspond with Holidays
Gift jewelry; sometimes it’s for beauty, sometimes it’s for meaning
Gift something comfy (pajamas for kids, squishmallow for patient, soft blanket, socks, etc)
Gift a shawl/scarf (if they're going through chemo, these are nice to have to keep warm, but they also make you feel a little bit fancy)
Send flowers or succulents (but check to see if they have any smell aversions first)
Nieces, nephews, or grandchildren can send drawings, artwork, etc
Offer to put together a wish list of items they may need during treatment
Offer to take family pictures for them (professional or not, they will be cherished)
Donate to an organization that is special to them
Nourish Them
Drop off coffee (or stay and chat if they’re up for it). Don’t forget to treat their partner/caregiver
Offer to drop meals off at the front door (some people may be craving interaction, others might be too tired to say hi)
Drop off convenient snacks (precut fruit, vegetables, smoothie packs, etc)
Text: “I’m going to Costco, what are your favorite 3 things from there?”
Gift a delivery meal kit
Organize a meal train
Help with Chores
Offer to do outside work: rake leaves, prune plants, shovel snow, mow grass, put garbage out on garbage day, etc
Send a gift card to a cleaning service
Offer to do a load of laundry, clean sheets, fold children’s laundry, etc
Offer to decorate for an upcoming Holiday
Clean the inside of their car
Offer to take the car to get an oil change/other maintenance
Offer to give them a ride to appointments, or to keep them company during treatments
Gift a robot vacuum
If They Have Kids…
Pick up their children and get them out of the house (park, museum, etc)
Gift low-energy activities for kids (sticker books, MagnaTiles, movies)
Offer to sit by them during school functions/ religious services and help take care of the kids
If they have a child's birthday coming up, offer to do all the work so they can have a small family party (cake, decorations, presents, etc)
Gift a membership to a children’s play area or museum
And one little tip… be specific!
“What do you need? What can I do for you?” can be difficult to answer, because some people don’t know what they need. When you’re not feeling well, or are overwhelmed, it’s hard to make these decisions. Instead, ask “Can I bring coffee over for you tomorrow morning? I won’t stay to chat unless you say you’re up for it.” or “I would like to mow your yard for you next week. If that’s ok, what day would be good?”. Keeping things simple for the person you’re helping will be much appreciated.
Share the List
If you're reading this and you’re the one who needs help, share this list with loved ones. Let them know what your favorites are from the list. I know it can be difficult to accept help, but remember that at the core of being human is wanting to build connections and help others. If someone is reaching out and wants to help, please allow them the joy of lending a hand. Let others take care of you in their own ways. Let others wrap you in their love and compassion. There will be a time when you and/or your family can pass on the kindness and generosity that you were given.
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Jamie Halverson is a mom of a 4 year old boy and 1 year old girl. She is a Communication Professor at a small college in Nebraska. Jamie was diagnosed with breast cancer in July 2022, while 18 weeks pregnant. She underwent a mastectomy and chemotherapy treatment, and then delivered a healthy baby girl. Jamie is currently one year out of treatment and is happy to be paying forward the kindness that others showed her.
