What to Do Before Next School Year Starts to Set Your Child (and Your Family) Up for Success While Navigating Cancer

Written By Haley Pollack

As a former elementary school counselor turned caregiver to a partner with cancer, I know firsthand that summer doesn’t always feel like a break when your family is navigating medical appointments, treatment schedules, uncertainty, and survival mode.

When you’re carrying the mental load of cancer alongside parenting, even small things that make the school year run more smoothly can make a huge difference.

The good news? There are a few proactive steps families can take before the next school year starts that may help reduce stress, improve communication, and better support your child emotionally and academically.

1. Request a Teacher Style That Fits Your Child

Many parents don’t realize they can often share information about the type of classroom environment that helps their child thrive.

While schools usually cannot guarantee a specific teacher by name, many schools do consider thoughtful parent input about teacher style and student needs during class placement.

A good place to send these requests is the school counselor and/or administration team, such as the principal or vice principal.

You don’t need to write a long or complicated email. A few thoughtful insights can go a long way.

Helpful things to share may include:

  • What tends to work well for your child

  • What tends not to work well

  • Whether your child thrives with a more nurturing teacher or a more structured teacher

  • Whether your child needs a calm, flexible environment or clear consistency and routine

  • Whether your family would benefit from frequent communication or only communication when concerns arise

  • Any changes at home that may impact your child emotionally, behaviorally, or academically

When a family is navigating cancer, school staff often want to help, but they may not know what support would actually be helpful unless you tell them.

You do not need to share every medical detail. Even something simple like:

“Our family is currently navigating a serious medical situation at home and consistency, emotional support, and proactive communication would be especially helpful this upcoming school year.”

2. Review Your Child’s 504 Plan or IEP Before Summer Ends

If your child already has a 504 Plan or an IEP, the end of the school year is a great time to review what worked, what didn’t, and what may need to change before next year begins.

Questions to consider:

  • Are the accommodations actually helping?

  • Is anything missing?

  • Did communication between home and school feel manageable?

  • Did your child receive enough emotional or behavioral support?

  • Did the plan account for the realities of your family’s situation?

Cancer impacts the entire family and sometimes children need additional support during treatment, hospitalizations, caregiving changes, grief, stress, or schedule disruptions.

For some children, that may look like:

  • counseling support at school

  • flexibility with homework

  • attendance accommodations

  • sensory breaks

  • emotional check-ins

  • extra transition support

  • help with organization or focus

If changes are needed, it’s often easier to start those conversations before the school year ramps up in the fall.

3. Help the School Understand the “Why”

One of the biggest things I learned as a school counselor is that behavior makes more sense when adults understand the context behind it.

A child navigating cancer in the family may:

  • seem more emotional

  • become extra clingy

  • struggle with focus

  • act out

  • become quieter than usual

  • have difficulty separating at drop-off

  • appear exhausted or distracted

These responses are normal.

When school staff understand that a child is carrying stress or uncertainty at home, it often changes the lens through which they respond.

You are not asking for special treatment. You are helping to create understanding.

4. Simplify Wherever You Can

If your family is in survival mode, this may not be the season to volunteer for every classroom event, sign up for every extracurricular, or overextend yourself.

It is okay to choose ease. 

Sometimes success during a cancer season looks like:

  • fewer activities

  • simpler lunches

  • reliable routines

  • lower expectations

  • extra rest

  • asking for help

Children benefit most from emotionally regulated, supported caregivers — not Pinterest perfect childhoods.

5. Remember That You’re Allowed to Advocate

Many parents worry about being “that parent” if they communicate needs to the school, but advocating thoughtfully and respectfully for your child is not being difficult. It is being a proactive and loving parent. 

In my years as a school counselor, I saw how much smoother things went when families shared just a few key insights up front.

School staff want children to succeed. The more they understand your child and your family’s needs, the better they can partner with you.

If you are navigating cancer while parenting, you are already carrying more than most people realize. You do not have to do it alone.

Haley Pollack
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